Erin (absinthe_spoons) wrote,

*squishes Taub*

Hey, what's up, so today I'm going to talk about House. This is all incredibly spoiler-y, both concretely and hypothetically, so ~beware~.
I'd like to address THAT spoiler. You know the one. And if you don't, you probably shouldn't be reading this at all, since your lack of knowledge suggests a lack of desire to acquire said knowledge ahead of time. Which, you know, more power to you. But I'm a spoiler junkie.
For a brief refresher, see this Ausiello post and this 'Watch with Kristin' post. It has been covertly revealed by way of Ausiello's death chart that both articles are talking about the same death.
I'd like to break it all down and weigh the odds of who this could be. So let's just jump right into it, shall we?

ETA: I've just realized something: I've been grouping the Ausiello post together with the Kristin article as if they were the same piece. Kristin says that the death isn't the most likely candidate, but she wrote her article with the assumption that nobody knew it would be a suicide. So while the most likely person to die (Thirteen, I suppose, in this case) will not be the one to die, the most likely person to commit suicide could still be on the table, since suicide isn't by any means the first thing that comes to mind when you think about how a TV character could kick the bucket.

Dr. Gregory House --
Why it might be him: Man, would that ever be "shocking". And nobody would see it coming.
Why it might not be him: For starters, the show is called "House, M.D.". The producers would have to have a death wish to go there. Also, if you want super-duper concrete evidence, the events of the show are supposed to have "a profound impact on House himself." Unless that's some stupid pun where House jumps from the PPTH roof and is profoundly impacted by the ground below, I'm thinking Laurie is here to stay until the show itself ends.
How I'd feel about it: I wouldn't mind if House's screentime was reduced... but killing him off? I'd be done with the show.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy --
Why it might be her: Again, it has the "shocking" thing going for it. She is by no means the most likely candidate. Also, House would feel her loss very deeply, as would the entire hospital. Most of my support for Cuddy's nomination comes from this Katie Jacobs quote: "Something changes in our hospital and it causes all of our characters to reexamine where they are. [...] The beginning of next season might look a little bit different before we get back to our sort of usual House episode. We have to deal with the fall-out before we can get back to our regular business." She makes it sound like a very large-scale occurance for the entire hospital. Only Cuddy would have that kind of impact. Lastly, in reference to her relationship with House, Jacobs has been insisting for a while now that she doesn't think House/Cuddy is going to go anywhere significant in the long-term. She's got nothing placing her definitively in the sixth season.
Why it might not be her: 1) Kristin says "it's not someone who has been rumoured to be leaving." Wasn't Cuddy rumoured to be leaving a while back? 2) Her potential relationship with House would be left unexplored... what a waste of all that immature bickering. 3) Can you honestly see Cuddy committing suicide? If only for how uncharacteristically irresponsible it would be for her to abandon the hospital and her baby daughter. 4) I haven't managed to get this concretely confirmed, but I heard the doomed character is supposed to be on House's team.
How I'd feel about it: Honestly, I think it would be interesting to explore the reaction to her death. And while I would miss her, I don't like Cuddy nearly as much as I used to. She's become so petty and immature since the show started digging into the House/Cuddy relationship in earnest.

Dr. Eric Foreman --
Why it might be him: His character is going nowhere fast. Kristin's criteria don't rule him out. And while a big deal could be made out of his death, it wouldn't alienate any significant fraction of House's audience. His death would probably have a bigger impact on House than that of one of the new ducklings, so he fits the bill of creating an "immense fallout" better than Taub, Kutner or Thirteen.
Why it might not be him: Katie Jacobs has said that Foreman and Thirteen will "stay together through the season's end". I'm not sure if that concretely saves them from death or not.
How I'd feel about it: Pretty damn good. Hey, better him than someone I actually care about. Although I probably wouldn't enjoy the unavoidable Thirteen angst to follow.

Dr. James Wilson --
Why it might be him: Wilson's death would definitely be shocking. It would also create the appropriate impact on House's psychological state. The clincher for me is that the House PTB have been trying to get Anne Dudek back, which could fit a Wilson death sequence very nicely.
Why it might not be him: Oh, the fans would REVOLT. They would swarm Shore's house in the dead of night and set fire to it. It would be frightening to behold. On the practical side, Shore has said that they plan to revisit the plot about Wilson's brother, but not this season. Also, again there's that rocky clue about the death being someone on House's team. I don't know about that one.
How I'd feel about it: Awful. I love Wilson to death, even when he and House are in turbo-psychoanalysis-mode. I would sob my heart out and hate Jacobs & Shore for a while, but I'd stick around for the fallout. His death, while terrible and downright stupid, would not be a deal-breaker.

Dr. Allison Cameron --
Why it might be her: It's not.
Why it might not be her: Jennifer Morrison is confirmed for the sixth season.
How I'd feel about it: I wouldn't give a damn one way or the other.

Dr. Robert Chase --
Why it might be him: It's not.
Why it might not be him: Jesse Spencer is confirmed for the sixth season.
How I'd feel about it: He's not my first choice to go, but he's not my last choice either. I'm looking forward to his role expanding in season six.

Dr. Chris Taub --
Why it might be him: With his financial troubles, his attitude towards his job, and his rocky marriage, Taub makes the most sense as someone who'd commit suicide. Plus, we pretty much know that he's tried it before. Although House has shown that he doesn't care much about Taub, if he felt partially responsible for driving Taub to suicide, it could have the described "profound impact" on House.
Why it might not be him: He's the most likely candidate, and if he took his own life, there would definitely have been some "lead up" to it. Plus, Taub held a lot of contempt for the suicidal patient in "Painless", and if you follow the strong implication that he had attempted suicide before, you'll also notice how deeply he regrets it. He calls himself/his "colleague" a selfish ass for abandoning his friends and family. Lastly, I'm still not convinced that the fallout would be that serious from Taub's death. Aside from my broken heart, that is.
How I'd feel about it: NOOOOOO. *clings to Taub* I completely adore Taub. He is the number one reason why I am still watching this show. He has renewed my interest in returning, week to week, to a show that is rapidly becoming repetitive and banal. I hate to be "that fan" but if Taub dies, I'm not coming back for the sixth season.

Dr. Lawrence Kutner --
Why it might be him: He's missing from House's diagnosis roundtable in the promotional pictures for 5.21. Also, there were many unconfirmed leaks from a couple of sources that he commits suicide, even before the suicide blind item was confirmed as being a House spoiler.
Why it might not be him: His absence from the 5.21 promotional pictures means little, as I'm pretty positive that the death goes down in 5x24, the season finale. And as shocking as a surprise suicide from Kutner would be, I'd consider that to be lazy characterization almost on par with Bones's Zack being a serial cannibalist's apprentice.
How I'd feel about it: Pleeeaaase don't kill Kutner! What'd he ever do to you? His dynamic with Taub is so much fun, and he always makes me smile at least once per episode. I'd rather him than Taub, but it's a close race.

Dr. Remy Hadley --
Why it might be her: Next to Taub, she makes the most sense as someone who's decide to off herself. Jacobs and Shore seem to love stirring up Thirteen drama, but they must know by now that she's not a fan favourite, so they may want to have one last hurrah with her character before they bend to our will.
Why it might not be her: That same quote about Foreteen staying "together through the season's end" may get her an ambiguous ticket into season six. Also, I can't see her death having a profound impact on House, no matter how I squint. Pity.
How I'd feel about it: I wouldn't miss her, but thinking about it, I think I'd feel a bit cheated. Since she's been diagnosed with Huntington's, I kind of feel like TPTB owes it to their audience to tell the story of someone dealing with a Huntington's diagnosis, no matter how annoying she is.

So after all that hemming and hawwing, these are my top three choices for which character I think will die:
1. Kutner
2. Taub
3. Thirteen

And which character I think SHOULD die:
1. Foreman
2. Cuddy (*ducks*)
3. Thirteen

ETA: I've just realized that I made an incredibly stupid error of reasoning in the above content, and have changed it to reflect this realization. Um, just so you know that I am no longer stupid. Or at least, less stupid than I was before.

You know what I've just noticed? My favourite show for a long time now has been "Chuck", but I've never really talked about it at all. That's bizarre. I don't have time tonight, but I will definitely come back soon and break it down Chuck-style.
Tags: chuck, house, spoilers
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